Emailed to me from another humor list (Daily Humor)
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"Thank you for calling Adventures in Telephoning Unlimited. If you wish to leave a message for Carol, please press 1. If you wish to leave a message for Marge, please press 2. If it's Kristin you're calling, please press 3. If none of these names make any sense to you, you've probably called the wrong number. In that case, please press 4 and leave a message for Nick, he's feeling ignored."